Not Perfect

I’m not the perfect girl.
I’m not who you expected.
Perhaps I was, but not now.
People change;
I’m not perfect.
I can’t live up to your expectations,
They’re just bringing me down.
I’m slowly destroying the image,
Your image of me –
It’s not who I am.
I’m not perfect.
I fail in tasks, I swear.
I’m disobedient, I drink, I lie.
I just wish you could see
Who I really am.
Not an angel, not a saint,
Not perfect.
Just me.

Written 17 October 2006

 

Fog

It is like a fog that clouds your mind, your thoughts and ability determine logic. There is no darkness, just clouded thoughts and feelings, a numbness that takes over. Anger boils and quickly rises to the surface when normally you would be calm. For hours the cloud will eclipse your mind and thoughts, and when it finally dissipates it leaves you with a feeling of emptiness and regret. What have you said, what have you done, what will you do next?